This was good day. If you would have asked me at breakfast if this as a good day I would have told you it didn’t look like it would be. If you would have asked me at lunch if this is a good day I would have grumbled an emphatic no. It was just one of those get under your skin days… at least it started out that way.
So after lunch I was exhausted because of my crummy attitude and decided to do something about it. First measure: sleep. Finally the baby went down for a nap so I thought that I could get some shut eye too. Fifteen minutes later he was up, and so was I. Nap didn’t work; so I tried snacking. After I worked some unwise sugary morsels down my throat I found that I didn’t feel any better. So I tried pop-corn. To no avail either. Third attempt was my email. I thought maybe someone felt the urge to write their dear suffering friend an encouraging message. (Insert pathetic violin music here.) Nope.
I knew that we were going to have church in the evening so I was going to have to get rid of this stinky ‘tude before service. It was time to take Raimy to art class. So I set my frustration on the back burner to simmer and headed out the door.
I had put off doing one of the things that I don’t like doing: phone calls. But I had to do them. So I put on my happy voice and made the calls. By the time I was done it was time to get Raimy. As we were coming back I remembered a testimony from a friend about a time she was walking around the back of a hospital and ran into some one that she hadn’t seen in a long while. I could hear my friend telling the whole story about a restored friendship. I thought it was odd that I had remembered it. But just then something similar happened to me.
As I was walking to my apartment, sure enough one of the church members crossed paths with me. I struck up a conversation with her and she began to describe to me what her day had been like. And wouldn’t you know, but she was describing exactly how I had felt all day long. Knowing that commiserating with her would not help the situation I began to speak to her about how this will look like nothing when you are on the other side. I told her to remember what her life was like two years ago and how far she had come. I told her that this hard time would strengthen her relationship with the Lord and she should be grateful for all the good things that were happening in her life at the moment. Her eyes began to light up. She began to speak more positively and remember the goodness of God.
As I continued on up the stairs I realized that I was no longer grumpy and that I was actually feeling very good. Then I felt like God just highlighted moments in my afternoon. My first attempts to resolve a negative attitude were selfish and inward focused (naps, candy, pop-corn, emails). But then as I forced myself to serve and give (by helping my daughter, making the phone calls and then encouraging the gal close to my home) I had an outward focus. And it was like I was impressed to realize that the better solution was found in pushing myself not in pleasing myself.
Another attitude adjustment… grace really truly is amazing.
"Heights by great men reached and kept were not obtained by sudden flight but, while their companions slept, they were toiling upward in the night." Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Romans 12:11 "Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality." (Message)
Thursday, June 21
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3 comments:
GREAT post! thanks for sharing your lesson with us -- with such transparency!
you wrote, "the better solution was found in pushing myself not in pleasing myself"....wow! and ouch!
I ditto Danielle's comment... wow and ouch... so often I try to please rather than push myself!
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