“Walking on eggshells” indicates that within a certain relationship we are being extra cautious so as to not offend, upset or anger the other. It is assumed that there is tension; one is frustrated or even annoyed with having to be so guarded around the other.
In Spanish we have a similar idiom that has almost the same wording but a very different meaning. The phrase is “walk stepping on eggs”. One who is stepping on eggs is a person who looks down on another. This person has a critical eye when evaluating another.
Two extremes: in English the person is cautious and careful; in Spanish the person is haughty and proud. The similar tie is such a big nasty word (or so it might seem in our Christian circles now days) that we think it is nigh unto, if not the very definition of sin: judgment. Tolerance and judgment have been set on opposites sides of the room and we are to choose which camp we are in.
If you are on the side of tolerance you are on the “good” side. You keep your mouth shut and let people live their lives the way that they see is right. You plaster on an approving grin even when you know in your gut something is not right. You mutter soothing words of understanding when the person before you defends and justifies his actions with completely reasonable arguments; while all the while you are plagued with indignity on the inside. All this done in the (holy?) name of tolerance.
If you choose to root in the corner of the traitorous judgment then you are booed at by liberals and reformed conservatives alike. Seeing these criticisms as nothing more than persecution for the faith you rise up louder still with your public accusations of the evildoers everywhere. You crank your bullhorn to the loudest setting and march down the street with your picket sign denouncing all that is bad in the world. You hear about a fallen member in the Christian world and immediately grab the phone to inform your prayer chain of all the juicy, I mean important details so that she can “pray better”.
My familiarity with both side of the coin is due to the fact that I have behaved both ways. Beginning my walk with Christ as a Miss Goody-Two-Shoes I muddied my Sunday best in the ditch of undue judgmentalism and an ugly critical spirit. I was so blinded by the mud I was slinging that I prayed to God that he give me the desirous gift of sarcasm with which I would be better able to maim my victims.
I met my match in some humbling encounters that pulled me out of verbal attacks. But still stumbling along and feeling my way I fell into the slimy bog of tolerance on the other side of the road. In those murky waters it was easy to convince myself that I was mistaken by what I saw so it was better to be neutral. I began questioning moral truths that I knew in Sunday school but just didn’t seem to hold enough substance against the darkness of the real world. After all as a missionary I am not called to change the culture? Or am I?
Almost two years ago my husband and I became pastors. In these last six months I have finally begun to feel like a pastor; the main reason for this being that I have had to confront within myself this conflict between judgmentalism and tolerance.
This week I sat with a teary-eyed member of my church and as I listened I knew that the issue had been settled within me. This process of sifting and learning, grappling and thinking was put to the final test. I am sure that I will be moving on to a new issue very soon. But for now I am thankful that God brought clarity.
I know that you might be thinking, “So what is it? What is the answer?” It would be very hard for me to lay out months and even years of learning. At the end of this post I am including a link to an online 4 sermon teaching series that was a key in helping me. But the bottom line is that I am grateful that this lesson has been learned. Someday I might teach or preach about it. Just now I am contented to live it.
Look for the series: Judgment Call
In Spanish we have a similar idiom that has almost the same wording but a very different meaning. The phrase is “walk stepping on eggs”. One who is stepping on eggs is a person who looks down on another. This person has a critical eye when evaluating another.
Two extremes: in English the person is cautious and careful; in Spanish the person is haughty and proud. The similar tie is such a big nasty word (or so it might seem in our Christian circles now days) that we think it is nigh unto, if not the very definition of sin: judgment. Tolerance and judgment have been set on opposites sides of the room and we are to choose which camp we are in.
If you are on the side of tolerance you are on the “good” side. You keep your mouth shut and let people live their lives the way that they see is right. You plaster on an approving grin even when you know in your gut something is not right. You mutter soothing words of understanding when the person before you defends and justifies his actions with completely reasonable arguments; while all the while you are plagued with indignity on the inside. All this done in the (holy?) name of tolerance.
If you choose to root in the corner of the traitorous judgment then you are booed at by liberals and reformed conservatives alike. Seeing these criticisms as nothing more than persecution for the faith you rise up louder still with your public accusations of the evildoers everywhere. You crank your bullhorn to the loudest setting and march down the street with your picket sign denouncing all that is bad in the world. You hear about a fallen member in the Christian world and immediately grab the phone to inform your prayer chain of all the juicy, I mean important details so that she can “pray better”.
My familiarity with both side of the coin is due to the fact that I have behaved both ways. Beginning my walk with Christ as a Miss Goody-Two-Shoes I muddied my Sunday best in the ditch of undue judgmentalism and an ugly critical spirit. I was so blinded by the mud I was slinging that I prayed to God that he give me the desirous gift of sarcasm with which I would be better able to maim my victims.
I met my match in some humbling encounters that pulled me out of verbal attacks. But still stumbling along and feeling my way I fell into the slimy bog of tolerance on the other side of the road. In those murky waters it was easy to convince myself that I was mistaken by what I saw so it was better to be neutral. I began questioning moral truths that I knew in Sunday school but just didn’t seem to hold enough substance against the darkness of the real world. After all as a missionary I am not called to change the culture? Or am I?
Almost two years ago my husband and I became pastors. In these last six months I have finally begun to feel like a pastor; the main reason for this being that I have had to confront within myself this conflict between judgmentalism and tolerance.
This week I sat with a teary-eyed member of my church and as I listened I knew that the issue had been settled within me. This process of sifting and learning, grappling and thinking was put to the final test. I am sure that I will be moving on to a new issue very soon. But for now I am thankful that God brought clarity.
I know that you might be thinking, “So what is it? What is the answer?” It would be very hard for me to lay out months and even years of learning. At the end of this post I am including a link to an online 4 sermon teaching series that was a key in helping me. But the bottom line is that I am grateful that this lesson has been learned. Someday I might teach or preach about it. Just now I am contented to live it.
Look for the series: Judgment Call
5 comments:
I'm glad you've learned clarity in this, and thank you for sharing.
I WANT TO KNOW THIS TOO!! I grew up with more judgmentalism than tolerance - and have since been trying to swing the pendulum to center. I believe that part of the secret is to see people as just that: people. People who fall, people who sin, people who are decieved, and people who do truly beautiful things. All of these things I have done, and seeing them as I know God sees me -correcting the sin in love when my heart is open - I think is key. I'm still learning. I want the point you've arrived at, but I know we each have our own journey. Thanks so much for sharing!
that is awesome!
thanks for the challenge and provoking thoughts.
Oh, Ang, I have been there! Isn't it wonderful that God is so patient as we are slowly (and often painfully) learning!
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