Revolving Door

A person’s first encounter with a revolving door can be a humorous event. First they just stand there and watch in wonder as a few people go through unharmed. Then they try a few false starts. Soon they get in, but it seems that they can’t quite figure out how to get out, especially if they are maneuvering a bag. They get up the guts to step out and they are right back where they started from. Sometimes a kind soul will try to coach and give pointers. Eventually the stressful experience is over and the person has made it through the crazy door.

My life feels like a revolving door. I am constantly saying good-bye or hello to somebody. Some people I am coaxing along and happy to see they make it through to the other side, proud of their growth and accomplishments. Others I want to hold on to and say just watch with me here for a bit more; but I know that they need to move on. Others I welcome in from the other side. At times their presence is surprisingly refreshing. At times I am challenged and grow because they are with me. Some people that I have waved good-bye to have later come back through the door and my heart is warmed. Others come through the door back into my life after years of silent absence, and I am enriched. Some come rushing through and leave so quickly, yet I am changed because they were with me even for that short time. The emotions attached with these arrivals and departures are most usually strong and have an enormous range of variety.

I am full aware that I am also, at times, the one leaving and arriving. It is overwhelming to consider how my comings and goings affect other people. Some times I long to go through the door and be with people I love; yet I am compelled to stay. I would like to say that I have embraced this aspect of my life. But I must say that I am still trying to figure it out. Maybe I am the one stuck in the door.

What kind of door would you use to describe your life and why?

Home School Curriculum 2008

We follow the Bolivian school year: February to November. It just makes sense for me to start and finish a school year within the calendar year. It also works well with furlough trips. Not to mention that my kids’ Bolivian friends have their summer break November to February.

So we have got off to a good start this year. I have a 4th grader, a 3rd grader and a 1st grader. I also have an 18 month old; which adds a challenging dynamic to the mix.

Here is our curriculum list for the year:

Bible – “Bible Blast” (1,3,4) they are doing this with a group of kids from church
Math – “Saxon” (1,3,4)
Reading – “Abeka” books (1) the same ones my mom handed down to me, I am a second generation home school mom
Sight words – www.dolch-words.com (1,3) fun printable worksheets
Language – “Bob Jones” (3,4)
Handwriting – “Handwriting Without Tears” (1,3,4) given to me by an occupational therapist, it is very good
Spelling – “Spelling Power” (3,4) the kids like the part in this program that you get to write the words with your fingers in sand
Creative Writing – “Writing Strands” (4) and “Sparks” (3,4) found this one online
Science – www.sciencewithme.com and “Gray’s Anatomy Coloring Book” (3)
Science – “Bob Jones” (4)
Geography – “Galloping the Globe” (4) it was challenging to use this last year since we don’t exactly have all the resource books required on hand or even readily available– but I am going to give it one more try
Social Studies – “Bob Jones” (3,4)
Home Skills – “The Family Book of Manners” (1,3,4) also from my mom
Physical Education – Horseback riding (1,3,4)
Art – various projects (1,3,4)
Fun Friday Field trips – every Friday after a light school work load we go on an adventure somewhere in the city. I started this last year and we all loved it.

My home school focus:
“We learn to love and we love to learn.”

As a whole I desire that my kids have the skills to learn what they want to know. I want to expose them to many experiences that encourage them to want to learn more. Coupled with those experiences I will have a strong technical skills routine to give them the scaffolding by which to construct their learning.

Good Boy!

When we first began ministering to children back in High School for our church’s Sunday school our pastor trained us. I remember he told us more than once, “There are no bad children. We will never say to a child, ‘You are a bad child’. They may have poor behavior; but the child is not bad.”

That has stuck with me. It has helped greatly when extreme forgiveness is required on my behalf to remind myself that this person has done something that has hurt me, but I can forgive them because God has placed worth in this individual. As I was pondering this recently I thought of some statements that I wanted to share.

There are no bad people, just people who choose bad behavior.
There are no good people, just people who choose good behavior.

There are no wrong people, just people who make wrong judgments.
There are no right people, just people who make right judgments.

There are no ugly people, just people to whom society has given that label.
There are no pretty people, just people to whom society has given that label.

There are no disabled people, just people who have been given unique abilities.
There are no capable people, just people who have developed certain skills.

There are no superstars, just people who get a bit more attention than others.
There are no superheroes, just people who give a bit more attention to others.

After all the measurements have been taken of bad, good, wrong, right, talents, abilities and appearances, at the end of the day we are all just people. And the worth we possess and the worth we relegate to others is purely and solely based on the simple yet profound truth that God thinks each individual is valuable, eternal and worth the effort.

If you hear nothing else today, hear this: God loves YOU.

Markers and Outliers

Unknown to every tiny baby there exists in this world a system of markers and outliers that separate and categorize unique individuals in nice little boxes and slots. And though we are born as a one-of-a-kind creation we spend much of our later growing up years trying to become a one-size-fits-all conglomerate mock up of all we have been told is approved and acceptable. It is not our intention to place these requirements on others; we just do it. It is not our intention to try to fit in; we just do it.

These same segregation attitudes have infiltrated the church system as well. We mark people based on what they do or do not do, what they do or do not wear, how they speak, who they hang out with, and even the material goods they own or do not own.

Would you believe that this even happens in the missionary world? Again – it is unintentional – but it does happen. For reasons I am still trying to understand it was not until this year that I have allowed myself to become close friends with other missionaries. And as I am branching out getting to know other people (and really enjoying myself doing it) I have been surprised to find these markers present. Markers like your sending organization or lack thereof, kids or no kids or how many kids, language learning style, the education of your children, long term or short term, and we have not even begun to talk about the type of ministry you do.

Intentionality breaks through the stereotypes to a place where diversity is treasured and division is diminished.

The choice to not judge, to not compartmentalize individuals, to not form prejudices is mine. Just because a certain person with a specific characteristic behaved a certain way in the past does not mean that another person with a similar characteristic is going to behave in a similar fashion. It would be contradictory if I were to assume that all people make these generalizations. Given the chance people will always surprise you.

This post is not a complaint – rather it is simply an observation of the way things are and the way that I have chosen to respond. It is a nice fringe benefit if you were challenged by these observations.

Belly Button Gazers

Getting the kids ready for bed last night DaRonn says, “What would it be like if the world did not rotate around Gabrielle?” A hypothetical question not necessarily directed at our six year old. Nevertheless she did not miss a beat and explained, “It would be like everything would be stuck in their place and not moving; like freezed.”

How often do we have the attitude of my precious little girl? We think that if it were not for us then the world would go into a catatonic state of shock. It would be ‘freezed’ if it were not for us, and our brilliance, and our work, and our ideas, and our whatever.

I believe that everyone is special and important. I believe that everybody should feel free to express themselves in all their creativity as they love their Maker. I also believe that we need to look at the way we are viewing ourselves.

Eastman Curtis calls selfish people “Belly Button Gazers”. They incline their heads at such and angle that the singular view they have is that of their own belly button. What a sad song these people drone out, either in self-pity or in puffed up pride.

Let’s lift up our heads and look around today. You might just be the answer that God has provided to ease someone else’s misery. (But don’t let that go to you head now; smile!)

To Do List

“I am good at what I do because I do what I do well.”
- DaRonn Washington

“Saint Augustine (1600 years ago) coined this maxim: “Love; and do what you will.” Brilliant!”
- Pastor Brian Zahnd

What --> Who

All the leadership development materials have a strong stress on goal setting using a variety of terms: goals, vision, objectives, priorities, long term planning, short term planning, effective time management, mission statement, etc.

For years I have done something that could be described as goal setting a couple times throughout the year and then on a smaller scale every once in a while to help me with my week’s plan if I saw that I was going to bogged down.

Sometime last month I sat down with my pen and notebook and started writing the days of the week at the top of the page in a row. Then I sighed as I thought about what I was going to write in those columns. I just couldn’t do it any more. It seemed pointless, empty and outright boring. I just couldn’t bring myself to reorganize yet again.

So I stared at the page and tried to mentally pump myself up. My self talk sounded something like, “Come on Ang’. You’ve got goals don’t you? Remember what you are working towards?” But then I couldn’t answer myself; at least not with a satisfying response. Anything I said seemed trite and trivial.

Then some thoughts came to me and I started writing myself a note. Here is some of what I wrote:

“See this right here? You start this so many times. But what do you do with it? And now you are going to sit down and try to do it again. If you are going to do it then why not start with what is most important to you? … Could I fill a weekly chart with who I love and that order my life? Hm… I think if I replace what with who that it might bring a good order to my life. I might just try that. Because, really, all my whats come back to a who. Let’s try it… It’s only paper. I do what I do for who?”

This is my new motivator and the clarifier when things get hairy:

I do what I do for who?

Communication

Within the word communication you can find "common" and "union". Good communicators are able to find a "common union" or "common ground" as they interact with people. Good marriages are made of two people who seek to find the common ground; they communicate well. Good friendships are made of two people who have at least one thing in common. Relationships within families are improved when the members find something in common.

An anecdote about finding a common ground...

When we were growing up as cousins every New Years eve we would get together and celebrate. There were the families of the four siblings on my mom's side, plus my grandparents. All together there were about 20 younglings running around what with all the cousins, foster kids, friends and whoever else happened to be around at the time. We had grand times together! One of the things that we did was played "White Elephant Bingo". A white elephant is a curious, unwanted item. Each person brought their item to the game all wrapped up. We all played Bingo, adults and children alike. After calling out, "Bingo!" the winner then had to pick one White Elephant to open. As the game progressed each successive winner had the choice of opening a new gift or stealing a gift that had already been opened. The victim of the robbery then had to open an unopened gift. Play continued until all the gifts were opened - and not one round more. After the last gift was revealed you were stuck with what you had in front of you.

Many a laugh was had as we saw the unveiling of the items. Some of the high-light items were: toilet paper printed like money and a hideously gaudy lamp clock combination. But there was one White Elephant that was revered above all. It was a rotating item, meaning that it came back every year. And the honored bearer of this gift wrapped it in such a way as to disguise its existence. Oh the squeals of glee when the gift was finally discovered! Every win after it was unwrapped was followed by the gusty familiar phrase, "Hand it over!" Everyone knew that a robbery was taking place.

The best part of the whole night was when the final winner of the prize had the honor to use it at the strike of mid night. It was a big, red, electric fog horn! All the rest of us losers would scour the cabinets of the kitchen for pots and pans and wooden spoons to bang. Then the whole lot of us would head outside to bring in the frosty mid-west New Year with bangs and hollers and a noisy fog horn. That was the best!

The evening wound down with adults talking and munching on left-overs while the little ones found a corner and a blanket to curl up in for a few hours.

Those were good times... very good times.

The Finite Points of Life

While cleaning up around the house with the family I stuck my finger in a live current. Upon hearing my yelp my good husband inquired, “What happened? Are you ok?” A bit disgusted with myself I responded, “Yeah, I just stuck my finger here and got a shock.” My five year old asked, “Did you get burned?” “Yes, I did,” I said. Moved to sympathy she cooed, “Ooh! Ow!” as she examined my finger. Glancing over and surveying the situation big sister purses her lips and frowns at the little one then curtly replies, “Yeah, but at least she is still alive.”

My pinky is still tingling, making it hard to type my a’s. But, as the sage said, at least I am still alive.

Moving Parts

My baby boy marvels me. The other day as he sat in his stroller watching his Papa eat a hot hog he began to flap his arms up and down. Seeing that this amused his parents he continued with a huge smile on his face. Also, when he gets his pants changed his new trick is to pull on his toes and rock from side to side. Lately he has been waking himself up and flipping over in bed from tummy to back. He is not an overly rambunctious child, but when he is awake he is making some part of his body move. If I was in movement as much as he is those extra baby pounds would have melted away long ago.

So I was thinking about my baby’s pursuit of discovery and a thought popped into my head. I thought about the body of Christ, which is comprised of the members of His church as stated in Ephesians. Our natural human body wants to move. The church body should also naturally want to be in movement. Just like my new baby wants to move and learn, a new Christian should also want to become an active member of the body of Christ by trying and learning new things.

Recently a relatively new Christian, an elderly man, in our church body sought my advice. Some well meaning members of his family had told him that he was taking this whole “Christian thing” too fast. They told him to slow down and not be so extreme. He asked me if that was correct. I quickly assured him that volunteering as an usher, attending bible school and being at church whenever the doors were open was not causing damage to his spiritual well being. Quite the contrary, all the activity was aiding and solidifying his growth.

Church is much, much, much more than just an entertaining show or a social club. Being part of a church means being part of a body. Bodies naturally want to move and grow. What are you doing as a response to this natural process? Don’t wait until you have it all figured out; you can learn along the way from members that have been exercised a bit more. Don’t wait until someone asks you to help; jump in there and become active. It is natural that you be a vital moving part of the body of Christ.

A seven year old boy’s philosophy about extra terrestrials

So this morning my son made me an origami Tulip from the kit that he got this Christmas. Thus began the discussion about this type of flower. My five year old girl was convinced that this type of flower did not exist because she had never seen one before. So I explained that Tulips didn’t grow here usually. And she asked, “They grow on another planet?” I said no, they grow mostly in a place called Holland. She said, “The planet Holland?” she is my kidder. Timothy, my seven year old, found it necessary to interject, “No. There is nothing on the other planets. God just made them because He wanted to.”