Revolving Door

A person’s first encounter with a revolving door can be a humorous event. First they just stand there and watch in wonder as a few people go through unharmed. Then they try a few false starts. Soon they get in, but it seems that they can’t quite figure out how to get out, especially if they are maneuvering a bag. They get up the guts to step out and they are right back where they started from. Sometimes a kind soul will try to coach and give pointers. Eventually the stressful experience is over and the person has made it through the crazy door.

My life feels like a revolving door. I am constantly saying good-bye or hello to somebody. Some people I am coaxing along and happy to see they make it through to the other side, proud of their growth and accomplishments. Others I want to hold on to and say just watch with me here for a bit more; but I know that they need to move on. Others I welcome in from the other side. At times their presence is surprisingly refreshing. At times I am challenged and grow because they are with me. Some people that I have waved good-bye to have later come back through the door and my heart is warmed. Others come through the door back into my life after years of silent absence, and I am enriched. Some come rushing through and leave so quickly, yet I am changed because they were with me even for that short time. The emotions attached with these arrivals and departures are most usually strong and have an enormous range of variety.

I am full aware that I am also, at times, the one leaving and arriving. It is overwhelming to consider how my comings and goings affect other people. Some times I long to go through the door and be with people I love; yet I am compelled to stay. I would like to say that I have embraced this aspect of my life. But I must say that I am still trying to figure it out. Maybe I am the one stuck in the door.

What kind of door would you use to describe your life and why?

Magnetic Attraction

It is fun to play with magnets. Seeing a long chain of metal objects stick together is fascinating. Have you ever tried to push strong magnets together with the non-attractive ends only to feel an invisible force prohibiting your efforts? These two forces (attraction and repulsion) are at work in relationships as much as they are in magnets.

In the same way that a simple switch in the direction of the magnets can reverse repulsion and create an attraction in relationships some simple changes in mindset can help bring people together instead of constantly being pushed apart. You can make adjustments in your thinking and the way you relate to others to create a connection.

Romans 12:5 & 10 “so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

Switches:*

1. Switch, “This relationship exists to serve me,” to, “This relationship is so I may serve.” It is attractive to think about the other person

2. Switch, “I will look better if I belittle the other,” to, “If I lift the other up us both go up.”

3. Switch, “Trusting another means I will be taken advantage of,” to, “If I trust others I will be considered trustworthy.” Pushing someone down when in a panic and drowning will probably cause you to drown as well. Striving to pull the other up you will both be saved. A person who is suspicious of others will be thought to be a suspicious suspect.

4. Switch, “I have to be right,” to, “I have to have peace.” Which is more important to you: peace or to be right? In issues of blatant sin then you must hold your ground. But most arguments are not in regards to an issue of sin rather a difference of opinion. Better to let the other person be right and save the relationship.

5. Switch, “Vulnerability means I will be hurt,” to, “Vulnerability means I will be healed.” Take for example a hurt tooth: The dentist will have to inject and inspect and you will be painfully vulnerable to him, but in the end that vulnerability will lead to healing. Without the dentist help you will have greater pain and maybe even lose the tooth. In a relationship if you do not open up to the other person then the sores will fester and you may lose the relationship; just as you would eventually lose a tooth if left unattended. Opening up will lead to healing.

6. Switch, “Transparency means they will see my weaknesses,” to, “Transparency means they will see Jesus more clearly through my life.” In our weakness He is strong.

7. Switch, “Just a little lie won’t hurt,” to, “Lies of any size diminish my credibility.” Being a person of integrity and honesty – even when it is reference to mistakes – will gain you credibility in the eyes of others. You don’t always have to take the brutally honest route; there are ways to be kind and honest.

8. Switch, “Criticism makes me look bad,” to, “Criticism helps me become better.” The attitude with which you receive criticism reveals your true motives in a relationship.

9. Switch, “To get what I want I have to take it,” to “To get what I want I have to sow a seed.” Reaping a sowing is a continual theme throughout the word of God.

10. Switch, “People are things to help me reach my goal,” to, “People are the goal.” I know that when some people look at me my head is replaced by a big dollar sign; I want people to want to have a relationship with me not based on what I can offer them, rather based on who I am.

11. Switch, “These are the conditions so one may earn my love,” to, “I choose to love unconditionally.” Love is a choice, not an emotional feeling.

12. Switch, “This person will never change,” to, “Hope that God is still working is the only hope I have for a relationship.” They say that a relationship is dead when one loses hope that the other can change. This is not to say you must remain close to an abusive person. The bible gives clear instruction about not becoming closely tied to people that display certain characteristics. But if there is no abuse, and only annoying behavior, you can hope that God is working on both of you to grow and change.

* These are examples given in a relationship where both are equals (marriage, siblings, friendships etc.). Things may look slightly different when a leader / follower relationship is being discussed (i.e. parent / child, boss / employee, teacher / student).

Talent Show

Last Friday night we participated in a church wide talent show. Timothy recited Psalm 133. Gabrielle sang a song in Spanish. Raimy did one in English. They all did a fine job. After the whole show was done the Washington’s got up and did a few songs together as the grand finale. We did all the actions and had a great time. Tyler stayed at home. But in the next few days he tried out some talents. We are sure that cooking is not one of them. Pepper in the sugar? No thanks. Maybe he should just stick to the technical lean like his father. After all he is not even two yet and he knows how to run the DVD player.

Enjoy the slide show!

Mother Month

This has been a mother of a month for me! Many mother issues have literally bombarded me. Here are the mothering things happening:

1. U.S. Mother’s Day celebrated
2. Bolivian Mother’s day coming up
3. Women’s meetings where I speak as a mother cheering her kiddos on
4. Spoke at church about strong families, including the part of a mother
5. Helped a woman in the church work through a second miscarriage – she wants so desperately to be a mother
6. The irony of that precious mother-to-be is that she mothers the orphans in the orphanage as the director
7. Had a couple of heart-to-heart get-togethers over coffee with our group of missionary mothers
8. Said farewell to three of my mother friends going home on furlough
9. Saw a great mother video on the blog of a fellow missionary mother in Indonesia
10. Found the blog of an encouraging author who is also a home schooling mother
11. Reading a book by that same author called The Ministry of Motherhood
12. The book was lent to me by another mother who is a dear friend of mine
13. Have worked through allowing a gal help me home school my kids
14. Have managed my household, learning to have a content heart as I waited for house help
15. Answered the door yesterday and a mother who is a member of our church said she has a relative that just came into town and is looking for work
16. That girl is here at the house now helping me out
17. Let the truth that motherhood is a calling for which God equips you settle in my heart
18. Learned that I cannot mother everybody – there are specific people that need me to play that important role in their lives and others who absolutely do not
19. Discovered a term that I will be exploring more closely in the days, weeks, and years to come: Grace Based Parenting
20. Mothered my children

So these are some things that hit me in my heart today as I sat relishing the beautiful company of my friends on a super comfy couch inhaling the rich aroma of good coffee.

Because I said so

“Because I said so,” was actually something I never heard my mother say. She and my father had an agreement that if they could reply with a ‘yes’ then they would do so. They would explain their decisions as clearly and thoroughly as they could. As the oldest of five children we grew up knowing that our parents believed that we could achieve anything that we set our hearts to. I am a grateful product of such faith and encouragement.

This Mother’s Day I would like to honor my mom by listing some of her frequent sayings. She is often the voice in my head and the voice that my children hear as well.

“Be wise and be safe.” Was said each time we left the house, usually too rapidly, into the big world.

“That would be a great question for daddy tonight.” Whenever we had a question about the way the world worked she would take the opportunity to help us connect with Daddy. Before he prayed over us we would have our inquietudes calmed and usually our imaginations fueled by our daddy the master engineer.

“I am happy if you are having a fun time.” So many times I thought my mom had such a boring job taking care of the foster babies that came to stay with us. Over the years more than 100 children’s lives were touched by her loving hands. I would beg her to come ride the roller coaster, swim in the pool or play Nintendo. It wasn’t until I was grown that I found out she suffered from severe motion sickness. So it really was more fun for her to know we were having a good time and she was part of facilitating that.

Mom you were and continue to be a wonderful mom. I love you!

Momentous Mothers

Listed below are the wonderful mothers I know who have impacted my own formation as a mother. I wanted to pay tribute to them. They are a treasure that I hold in my heart. The characteristics following their names (demonstrated in the interaction with their children) are the ones that shine out above all the many that I could have listed. The list could be much longer if I were to include the women throughout history that I know only through study and literature that have also aided me as a mother. To the women here in this list I say thank you so much for being who you are and making a profound mark on my life. May God bless you.

Organized in alphabetical order:

1. Amy R. – Valuing the journey
2. Beth W. – Care and nurture
3. Carolina M. – Encouraging individuality
4. Charlesene M. (my mother in law) – Strength
5. Claudia B. – Placing importance on heritage
6. Danielle H. – Being fun
7. Daryl C. – Learning
8. Denise H. – Unending and unconditional love
9. Emily H. (my sister) – Purposeful connection
10. Heather H. – Hope
11. Jill H. (my mom) – Serving and putting others first
12. Joy G. – Belief in others
13. Joyce L. (my aunt) – Prayer
14. Julie M. – Sacrifice
15. Kristy L. (my aunt) – Instilment of character and faith
16. Laura B. – Thoughtfulness
17. Laura K. (my grandmother) – Industrious
18. Linda K. (my aunt) – Making kids feel important
19. Lisa B. – Patience
20. Mary S. – Tenacity against all odds
21. Phyllis H. (my grandmother) – Being herself
22. Peri Z. – Giving value
23. Rebecca G. – Trust and friendship
24. Shawn S. (my sister) – Doting adoration
25. Tracy C. – Including her kids in the process

In the years to come I expect this list will grow as I come to know new mothers. I am grateful to my Lord for filling my life with the voices of these ladies.

Day on the Countryside at Parque Pairumani

Day on the Countryside at "Parque Pairumani"

This lovely national park sets on the side of a mountain just about a 45 minute drive outside of the city. We piled up in the truck and spent Saturday morning as a family enjoying the fresh air and sunshine. We wrapped up the excursion with ice-cream from the "Aragatza" ice-cream truck (best ice-cream in town is sold from the side a truck).

The guys
DaRonn, Timothy (8) and Tyler (20 months)
DaRonn is not a outdoorsy kind of guy. But he had fun leading us up the side of the mountain on a half an hour hike. We hung out looking at a small river and the beautiful mountain tops.

The girls
Me, Gabrielle (6) and Raimy (10)
It was good to be together as a family doing stuff. The day was brisk yet sunshiny. We had a picnic when we got down from the top. Gabrielle said it was the best lunch of her life.

Plurality of Scripture

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone (Genesis 2:18)

Let's take this into the context of the born again Christian who has been breathed upon by God and now lives as a new creation:
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the Christian should be alone

We were created for a shared existence.

We share our existence with God. He permits this.

We share our existence with humans. He designed this.

Why people DON’T get together:
Millions of reasons: unforgiveness, past hurts, selfishness, laziness, low self esteem, prejudice, pride, self pity, poor influences, bad company, corrupted morals.

C.S. Lewis love quote:
Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.

Why people DO get together:
One reason: love

The primary purpose of God is his family.

1. Adam - created to share his existence with Eve

2. Noah - saved to share his existence with his family

3. Abraham - blessed to share his existence with his son

4. Israel - the Old Testament written about the shared existence of a group of people

5. Jesus - God incarnate to share existence as a human, called the Son of God

6. Early church - the New Testament addresses the shared existence of a group of people

7. Revelations – addressed the actions of the shared existence of the churches

It has not been until recent years that “personal savior” has worked its way into our vocabulary. God sees us as a whole, as a generation, as generations.

How would you evaluate your spiritual condition?
Us = standards, checklist, example: club membership
God = relationship, intimacy, example: marriage relationship

When you think about the condition of your spirit what do you evaluate?

Usually it is the observance or practices or disciplines that we use to evaluate ourselves.

I Challenge you to evaluate your spiritual condition based on two things:

Love the Lord you God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength

Love your neighbor as yourself

Comparison: When you evaluate the condition of your marriage you don’t think first in the practices that you maintain. You consider the strength of the bond you have with your spouse. The practices are important – but not the main thing.

Have you ever noticed that much of the bible is written in plural?

We have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16)

We are more than conquerors (Romans 8:37)

Our Father which art in Heaven (Matthew 6:9)

You are chosen generation, a holy nation, (1 Peter 2:9)

In Him we live and move a have our being (Acts 17:28)

Lists that require interaction with other people:

Hebrews 11:39 - 40 “Faith heroes”

Galatians 5:22 - 23 “Fruit of the Spirit”

1 Corinthians 12 “Purpose of the gifts of the Spirit”

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love check list”

2 Peter 1:4-8 “Great and precious promises for us”

Romans 12 “Christian living with a renewed mind”

It is vital that we are purposefully sharing our existence with other believers in the context of a body in a church.

May Day

Today in Bolivia we are observing Labor Day. This term seems to be an oxymoron seeing as it is observed by everyone taking the day off from work (except for the market workers, they are so industrious). Yet we are glad to give our team a day off. They work very hard and we are appreciative of them. Of course, my husband, the team leader, is glad to have the office all to him self to work. I must commend him, though, for sleeping in until 7:30 today. This is something he hasn’t done in a long while. I was actually up before him which is a rare occurrence indeed.

My day will include work as well. Aside from the usual laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, baby care, and food sanitization of groceries bought right before closing time at the store last night I have some fun things going on. An extra home school class taught by one of our friends: Spanish. As well as art this afternoon with our missionary / neighbor / church member / fellow home school family. After art the kids have a birthday party to go to at the bowling alley. Then we have church tonight. I enjoyed teaching while DaRonn (my husband the pastor) was gone, but I am so glad that he is back to share this evening.

The art project for today is shrinky-dinks. I tossed around the idea of making May baskets. I have some great childhood memories of May Day sneaking up to the neighbors’ houses, ringing the door bell and then running away to hide behind a bush to watch them discover their surprise treat. But, since that is not a tradition here and I have been saving styrofoam trays for weeks the anticipation has got the better of me. Here are the instructions for the project on line if you are interested: http://kidscrafts.suite101.com/article.cfm/make_your_own_shrinky_dinks

What childhood memories does this season invoke for you?

Doing What They Do

My ten year old trying her hand at oils for the first time. She is an artist. Her preferred style of expression is pencil drawing. But anything pertaining to creative arts is her outlet. She loves dance, music, painting, crafts, clay, sewing, drama, making books and whatever else she can do to create.


My eight year old doing a word find. These or sudukos are his choice these days. Anything that is building or constructing he enjoys as well. I am amazed at what he can do with his legos and other building sets. He is a thinker.


My six year old doing her lessons in school. She is a worker. She says to me, "Mama, I want to work hard in school today." Her undaunted approach to tackling problems is inspiring. I am wondering what God is going to do with her life. It will be amazing to see, I am sure.


My eighteen month old licking a book. So far he has tasted: deodorant, hand lotion, crayons, bubbles, all the furniture in the house, door handles, books, and seat belts. I can't complain because this flows over into his eating of actual food too. He will eat anything!

This was a glimpse at what my kids like doing. What did you do today that was YOU?

Killing Taste Buds

A theory that I have been testing was proven last night by my eight-year-old son when he said, “Mom, it’s just that the food is too tasty,” as an explanation as to why he was unable to eat his dinner.

Here is my theory: one of the purposes of parenthood is to successfully kill as many taste buds as possible.

This task should be completed before the child reaches the age that he or she can completely embarrass the parents in the presence of guests or hosts with a rude squishing up of the nose, the disgusted shudder, the eyes widened by terror and the phrase of doom, “Ew! What is that? I don’t like it!” Followed by a reddened face, a nervous giggle and the strained smile on the part of the parent as he or she says to the child with a flash of a death threat and then back to the clenched, forced grin, “How do you know you don’t like it if you haven’t even tried it?” The sing-songy fakey tone that the parent has employed confuses the child at first and then they quickly realize that no command has been given and the game has begun. This is nothing more than a fun test of wits like in checkers or battleship. A retort is given; unchecked. Child 2, parent 0. The counterattack is a sharp squeeze to the thigh of the child from the parent under the table as a plea for silence. Usually the issue is dropped at this point and another person at the table excuses the child and changes the subject. The parent tries to regain composure and wonders where they went wrong.

All disciplinary discussions aside the problem lies in the fact that these parents did not kill enough of their child’s taste buds when they had the chance. It is a scientific fact that a newborn baby has taste buds covering the whole inside of their mouth: the tongue, the roof, and the sides; everywhere. As the child grows little by little the buds slough off. It is also a fact that our taste buds can die and lose the ability to sense a taste. Once that bud dies there is no regeneration. That is why when you burn your mouth on a cup of hot drink it takes the whole day, if not two days to get complete feeling back to your tongue. They are sensitive little buds. (These facts also lead me to believe the reason Starbucks is so successful is that they are strategically killing their client’s taste buds so there is no diminishing return factor to deal with, but that is another post.)

So as parents we must bombard our children’s tongues with as many different flavors and varieties of foods as we possibly can. Don’t be so fanatical in this venture that you damage the child’s mouth. But do put forth the energy to make your children eat their food. Do not settle for a graham cracker and cheerio diet. No! You have some taste buds to kill!

A Yes No Convo

This is a short, little, out-of-the-blue conversation I had this morning with my 6 year old daughter.

Gabrielle: Mama, are tornados real?
Me: Yes
Gabrielle: Will Aunt Kristy be sucked up? (Worried look on face)
Me: No
Gabrielle: Oh good! (Relieved look on face)

As she went blissfully skipping away I chuckled to myself and wondered where that little worry came from. It amused me even more that she was relieved simply by what I told her. She believed it, was relieved by it, and physically manifests her complete trust with a sweet smile as she went about with her life.

What do I worry about? Surely my worries are much more serious and important than those of my child. But are they really? She was gravely distressed by the thought of her aunt being sucked up in a tornado. Are her feelings very much different from mine when I am concerned about all the “what-ifs”?

But my daughter made a good choice. She went to a reliable source to verify the validity of her preoccupation. And when she indeed found out that she was mistaken in her perception of reality she simply changed.

When I am worried who do I talk to? Nobody. Do I bottle it up and let it fester? Yes. Do I file it away in my mind thereby assigning it importance? Usually, yes.

Now, though, this encounter with my daughter showed me that it would be better if I took my worries to a verifiable source: God. That I would choose to believe what he said. And that I would simply change, trusting what he said to be the absolute truth.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (I Peter 5:7)

I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it. (Mark 10:15)

What do you do when you are worried?

Laguna de Alalay

Yesterday for Fun Friday we went to the Laguna de Alalay, a man made lake in the South part of the town here in Cochabamba. Since it was Good Friday there were many families out walking, biking, playing soccer, picnicking, and fishing. My kids especially enjoyed forging a way to the shore line. It was hard to find because parts were flooded and overgrown. I let them take the lead exploring and eventually we made it through. There were piles of old lily pads that had been pulled out from last season that we had to climb over. The fish water smell was not as strong thanks to the breeze. Wild horses grazed on the banks as the men with bamboo poles waded in knee deep to catch fish for their families seated on the grass under the shade of the trees. There was even a man selling ice-cream out of his styrophome chest. The kids pulled up the large water plants and inspected the long hair like roots. God really has surrounded us with fascinating creations. As evening set in the mosquitoes awoke and were hungry so we left. As we were walking to the truck my son pronounces, “Thanks for a very fun Fun Friday mom!”

Yay for Art Day

Thursdays are Art Day here at our home school. We have been having a good time creating together. Usually some of the kids of another home school family who live a few blocks away walk down to do the art project with us. It makes for a fun time for everyone involved (teacher included). So far we have made: me posters, rubbings collections, potato prints, slot sculptures, color spinner pull yo-yos, and woven paper. Each week we learn an art vocabulary word. I make the oversized vocab cards with card stock. The top line is the term, the second line is the definition and finally the card has an example of the term. Some of my projects I find at the Art Attack web site. I love art!


Getting all set up


Raimy with some of the vocabulary cards


Gabrielle working hard


Timothy finishing up


Aren't they lovely?! (The art is pretty nice too)

Washington Girls

February Fun

Is it only the 7th? Only one week has passed in February? Amazing!

Our week has been packed: our kids were in a wedding at church, we had a youth retreat at a resort, and we started school. The wedding was beautiful. An Englishman married a Bolivian. Her name is Wendy and his Peter (like the Peter Pan story). The youth retreat was great. I spent most of my time with our kids. But we had fun hanging out with the youth when they were not in a session. The day after we got back we were all very sunburned but we got started with school. It feels good to be back at it.

I wanted to get these pictures up so you could see them. Enjoy!

Christmas Fun

Here are some fun moments from yesterday:


Tyler playing with his awesome new toy.


Gabrielle with "Patrik". We got the kids a pair of guinea pigs, boy and girl. The girl is named "Rosebud".


Timothy trying out his new golf set. Later they all went to the park with the set. The day was bright, warm and sunny.


Tyler showing off his new trick of sticking out his tongue and wagging his head.


Gabrielle making a run to the kitchen for some sweet goodies.

All in all it was a very nice day. I finished reading "East of Eden", a great book. DaRonn got a good nap in. I hope your day was nice as well.

Washington Family Christmas Picture

Merry Christmas!!!

I will post more pictures later. This is my dear family. Raimy 9, Timothy 8, Gabrielle 6 and Tyler 1.

Exposé of Grossness

(Warning: the content of this post may be considered unnecessarily gross to humans of the non mother persuasion.)

The pediatrician told me that the reason my son’s front is constantly drenched in slobber is that he has an over active salivatory gland that he will grow out of. I swear people, this boy is like a leaky faucet; you just can’t turn him off. The endearing nicknames that he has gained due to his zealot of a gland are: slobber-bot and drool-miester.

And while I am on it, sometimes I feel like my day consists of the meticulous gathering, inspection, categorizing and proper storage of every bodily fluid and excretion ever created. Am I comparing toddler care to the exact study of a scientist? Yes. How else do you think I can endure this demeaning yet all so important work they call care-giving?

How bad can it be? (You so naively ask.) Here comes the grossness! Shall we start south and work our way north? Or should we just do the good ol’ head to foot routine? Going with the latter… There is that orange dandruff like stuff growing under what few hairs they have on their heads that no matter how much you pick at it there is a new crop daily. Eye-boogers are your early morning greeting. Then there is the ear wax that you are not supposed to dig out even though it looks like the child has been attacked by tiny aliens and they are constructing a weird colony in there. We mustn’t forget the rainbow of snot that drains out of not one but two nostrils on an occasional basis. If you do not know the color, consistency and frequency of that slime then don’t even think about calling ask-a-nurse*! Before moving on to the mouth the nose does have one more function. In the unfortunate event that a child begins laughing while drinking milk (why is it always milk?) said milk will reroute itself through the nose expelling itself with such force as to successfully cover all persons present with the physical manifestation of the intangible joy that your child is experiencing. Moving on to the mouth: drool, spit-up, juicy blenching, smelly burps, regurgitated baby food, unswallowed mashed up food, rejected medications, phlegm, goobery tiny pieces of toys that are supposedly “a choking hazard” but are actually a cause of temporary deafness due to the screaming that is invoked from the baby when the extraction takes place and last but not least the infamous, odorous, staining and sickening vomit. Oh, and we haven’t got to the most exciting bits yet folks!

A few words about blood. Blood is meant to stay inside the body; yet almost everywhere on the body can bleed! Band-aids* are a joke. They stick for all of 3 minutes. After that, if the child has not taken it off then it comes off in some kind of water play or it is so full of dirt that you gasp and work as hard as you can to pry the thing off without ripping the tiny hairs out of their follicles. The only things band-aids* are good for are bribes. You bribe the kids to stop wailing by promising them a cute little band-aid*.

So you have your blood that you have to take care of. If you do it right then you won’t have to take care of the pus that accompanies infection. That’s right – do not avoid the blood because the pus is 10 times worse to take care of than the blood. If you see blood do not waste one more minute. Grab that wonder water that make the fun little bubbles when killing infection (technical term: hydrogen peroxide) and douse that wound! Disclaimer for parents: you do not have care for or treat broken bones. Take the kid to a doctor for that. Whoo, load off! Right?

Wrong! We have now reached the pinnacle of grossness. Below that adorable little belly button lies a load of worries. And by load, I mean load! The things that make their way out of your child’s abdomen and into that Mickey Mouse* diaper are unthinkable and unspeakable. Little bit of trivia for you. You will have what color poop when you eat Froot Loops*? If you said bright green then give yourself a gold sticker. Yes, as a parent you have diaper duty. And speaking of “duty”, why is it that we invent funny little names for bodily functions? Pee-pee, poo-poo, doodie, pees, stinkies, uh-oh, tinkle, and any other cutesy name that pops into our heads at the time. Oh, and speaking of heads. You know you have reached the brink of insanity when you see one of those tiny pieces of toy in the diaper all covered in yuck and after your initial panic attack thinking it is some part of the child’s guts that need to be taken to the surgeon so he can put it back where it goes you seriously think to yourself, “Do I dig it out and clean it off?” or an even more demented thought, “Do I call the big kids in and show this to them so they quit leaving their little pieces of toys laying around.” Recognize this as a sign that you are about to go insane and stop. Just fold the diaper up and throw it away. Pretend you didn’t see the object. It doesn’t exist. It was never there. You are still a good mom!

I said we were going head to foot. I thought it was some kind of practical joke when I smelled my infant son’s feet and they had the odor of a high-school gym locker room. My girls’ feet never smelled like anything else than baby powder. But my boys’ feet have stunk from day one. Not to mention the toe jam and sweaty, sticky sock fuzz that you gotta scrape off.

My precious gooey children haven’t yet reached the age of puberty. They tell me that the teenage years are so much worse. Frankly I don’t image how it could be worse. It will have to be my next chapter in the exposé on grossness.

People just don’t tell you all this stuff when you are oohing and ahhing over the soft cuddly bundle wrapped up in the stroller of a radiant starry-eyed young mother. It’s all a trick! They are wrapped up so you don’t see all the grossness. And those aren’t stars in her eyes, the poor woman hasn’t slept in days and her eyes are frozen open. But that is for another post.

* The name brands that I mentioned above are probably like protected by copyrights and have a bunch of trademarks. So like somebody buy some of their products and I think that they won’t mind that I mentioned them.

‘Sup Cuz’

My mom’s sister’s son’s wife (yeah – the wife of my cousin) has a blog you might like to check out. If you stop by leave a comment to let her know you were there. Go. Read. Enjoy.

The link: www.awordygirl.blogspot.com