Tea

As a woman living in Bolivia I have learned the skill of a “tea”. It usually takes the place of a light dinner at about 6 in the evening. Ladies trickle in and the sound gradually increases as all the friends converge around the table in a home or at a local tea-house. Coffee and tea are served along side breads, pastries or other baked goods. If the ladies have brought food to share what is politely left on the plate stays at the house. In the same fashion the confidentialities shared also do not leave the confines of the intimacy of the companions; at least in noble theory if not in practice.

Age old traditions are observed such as serving the cool refreshment beverage that precedes the actual tea drinking on a tray and never with your hands. A tea spoon is to be provided in place of the larger soup spoon or there will be furrowed eyebrows. Children are welcome to pick and choose off the table as they please seeing as they are adored and by no means disdained among these people. Though it is fashionable to arrive half an hour to forty five minutes passed the appointed hour it is expected that the group depart all at the same time.

The intricacies of conversing at a tea are details that one must develop only after repeated exposure with an attentive ear to the timing, volume and topics addressed. The only interruption permitted is that of a proper greeting which consists of a kiss on the cheek for every person present. Kisses aside, great respect is demonstrated in that the thorough stories that could be easily described as speeches by those unfamiliar with a Bolivian tea are listened to completely.

Common topics touched at almost every tea: children, women stuff (complete with at least one labor and delivery story), light gossip and maids. The Spanish word for maid is ‘empleada’. You should see the emotion on the women’s faces when this topic is finally brought to the table. So today I welcome you to my table for tea. This very Latin introduction has been so that I can talk with you about my maid, or former maid to be more precise.

She has been with us for over three years. The kids love her dearly. She actually did very good honest work. Just these last few months she has repeatedly missed days, asked for extra time off and simply disappeared. So she finally called the other day to let me know that she was done. I guess I can’t blame her. Right now she needs to give her own family attention. Both her parents are sick and she is the middle child of 12. Only a few of the siblings have jobs. Their pay checks sustain the rest of them. So she will go and I will probably never see her again in my life. Such is the case with ‘empleadas’.

And now we need to decide where to go from here. It is clear that if I am going to continue to be involved in ministry outside of my home that I will need to have help. Simple house hold tasks take so much longer to accomplish without automated everything. The thought of the hunting, trial period, decisions and training time makes me sigh.

You are to be commended if you have read this far and you are still interested. This talk would have been much more in depth and fraught with emotional descriptions and compassion invoking examples had I been addressing Bolivian women. And it will be next time I sit down with my chicas. Bottom line is please pray for me during this transition time. It is a good thing to have the challenge of choosing the right helper.

Thanks for sharing tea with me today.