Mother Month

This has been a mother of a month for me! Many mother issues have literally bombarded me. Here are the mothering things happening:

1. U.S. Mother’s Day celebrated
2. Bolivian Mother’s day coming up
3. Women’s meetings where I speak as a mother cheering her kiddos on
4. Spoke at church about strong families, including the part of a mother
5. Helped a woman in the church work through a second miscarriage – she wants so desperately to be a mother
6. The irony of that precious mother-to-be is that she mothers the orphans in the orphanage as the director
7. Had a couple of heart-to-heart get-togethers over coffee with our group of missionary mothers
8. Said farewell to three of my mother friends going home on furlough
9. Saw a great mother video on the blog of a fellow missionary mother in Indonesia
10. Found the blog of an encouraging author who is also a home schooling mother
11. Reading a book by that same author called The Ministry of Motherhood
12. The book was lent to me by another mother who is a dear friend of mine
13. Have worked through allowing a gal help me home school my kids
14. Have managed my household, learning to have a content heart as I waited for house help
15. Answered the door yesterday and a mother who is a member of our church said she has a relative that just came into town and is looking for work
16. That girl is here at the house now helping me out
17. Let the truth that motherhood is a calling for which God equips you settle in my heart
18. Learned that I cannot mother everybody – there are specific people that need me to play that important role in their lives and others who absolutely do not
19. Discovered a term that I will be exploring more closely in the days, weeks, and years to come: Grace Based Parenting
20. Mothered my children

So these are some things that hit me in my heart today as I sat relishing the beautiful company of my friends on a super comfy couch inhaling the rich aroma of good coffee.

Excerpt "Breathe Easy"

This is the first chapter in my book Breathe Easy. I wrote it with the mind to connect Latin women with their Heavenly Father in a relationship that provides freedom from vice, addiction and sin.

CHAPTER ONE

The Woman

Intrepid she quietly made her way into the room. Many years of intimate interaction with human baseness had given her an austere and detached demeanor. Yet the group in the lofty hall noted a contrasting contentment on her face that did not coincide with her seductive stride. Unannounced a less observant participant may have easily mistaken her for one of the servants serving the meal. Yet all eyes were quickly drawn to the woman as she fearlessly approached the guest of honor.

But why would anyone have feared the great teacher? Surely he commanded attention by the authoritative way he spoke. Even children were drawn to the attractive way that he looked into the eyes of those he spoke to. In the past this woman did have reason to fear. Her former profession had gained for her the well known reputation of a popular but despised member of society. Her ungodliness had separated her from his deity. But those were things of the past; a not so distant past that seemed like ages ago. Things were going to be different now. She approached the teacher with her head drooping down causing her long hair to cover her face. She ducked away from his line of sight and positioned herself just behind the reclining figure. Now her gaze met his and she saw the same captivating eyes that were calling her from captivity; those eyes that poured forth such a mix of justice and welcome.

As she bowed low the clank and chatter of the meal slowed and finally stopped. Everyone watched in a solemn hush what this woman did to Jesus. The only sound to be heard were repressed sobs emitted from deep within the woman’s soul. She wept at his feet. The soul could not contain the emotion and it came spilling out in the form of warm salty tears. Her inclined posture causing the flow to run down on the master’s feet. If her eyes had not been clouded over by her tears she would have noticed that his feet were uncommonly dirty from waking around the dusty city. Little did she know that it was her own soul that was being cleansed as the filth dripped away from his feet to the plush cushions on which they rested. The crying subsided as this worshipful woman knelt. Not yet lifting her head she realized that she had wetted his feet and thus began to wipe them with her dark locks that hung down. As if to apologize and show her submitted heart she repeatedly kissed the now clean feet. Drawing from the folds of her robe the object of her intent in coming to this private gathering she began to pour precious ointment on the wearied feet.

She had known that he would be there. The gossip had traveled fast. Jesus would be dining with Simon the Pharisee. Her heart skipped to know that he would be in her town. She had heard of him, of the great miracles and wonderful teaching he brought. She had even heard his message personally. She had heard the words he spoke and they were like cool rain after a long dry summer. And now he was so close to her! Could it be her opportunity? Could this be the chance she had longed for? So long she had suffered under the weight of her affliction. So long had she heard the jeering and hissing as she walked through the market. She was known for her sin. There was no denying it. But now there might be just that small glimmer of hope to put that past behind her. Maybe this man brought the answer that would calm the torment that raged within her, maybe, just maybe. She had to act fast. Seeking out the most valuable thing she could she enclosed it in her robes and headed for the prominent home of the Pharisee. Possibly the precious ointment had been given to her by one of the wealthy dinner guests as payment for an intimate encounter. Nonetheless it was the best she had to give.

Her hands trembled slightly as she took the top from the box of alabaster. The ointment inside now seemed trite next to the magnificence of the man. But she had to express some kind of sacrifice of honor and respect. As the glistening liquid poured forth from the box and began to cover his feet the woman felt a deep sensation of release from her soul. Yes, this was the right thing to do, the only thing she could do; and more than that the best thing she could do.

The silence was broken when Jesus opened his mouth to speak. She had heard him before and now listened intently. Yet his words were not directed to her but to their host, Simon. Simon had been surveying the scene with mixed emotions. He had been so proud to have a renowned prophet grace his presence by accepting the invitation to dine with him. And now he was embarrassed and indignant that such a renowned sinner had also chosen to intrude. But then his pharisaical mind began to fixate on the validity of his guest. Was he really a prophet? If he really was who he said he was then he would know that this woman was a sinner. Why would he continue to allow her to touch him so? If he knew the truth then he would never allow it. This logical reasoning racing through his head was stopped abruptly by the calm yet commanding voice of the prophet on trial in his mind. Leadingly Jesus said, “Simon I have something to say to you.” Simon might have thought that Jesus was going to ask him to have the woman removed. He did not know that Jesus had been weighing the matters of the heart of the woman and the heart of his host. In his intellectual yet simple way Jesus presents a sort of riddle or enigma.

“Two men were in debt to a banker. One owed five hundred silver pieces, the other fifty. Neither of them could pay up, and so the banker canceled both debts. Which of the two would be more grateful?” Jesus asked.

Simon answered, “I suppose the one who was forgiven the most.”

“That’s right,” said Jesus. Then turning to the woman, but speaking to Simon, he said, “Do you see this woman? I came to your home; you provided no water for my feet, but she rained tears on my feet and dried them with her hair. You gave me no greeting, but from the time I arrived she hasn’t quit kissing my feet. You provided nothing for freshening up, but she has soothed my feet with perfume. Impressive isn’t it? She was forgiven many, many sins, and so she is very, very grateful. If the forgiveness is minimal, the gratitude is minimal.”

Then he spoke to her: “I forgive your sins.”

That set the dinner guests talking behind his back: “Who does he think he is, forgiving sins!”

He ignored them and said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.”[1]

Thrilled her heart began to sing. The shame dropped away, just as a heavy cloak slides off the shoulders when the constricting tie is loosened from the neck. She was forgiven! Everything was wiped clean. Jesus himself had spoken directly to her telling her that her sins were forgiven. Then, what a compliment he gave her, this honored teacher; he commended her faith! Her faith, seemingly insignificant, was expressed in her solemn act of reverence. Yes, this is what she had hoped for. And it had been granted: salvation. Saved from the sin. Saved from the guilt. Saved from the heavy load. Saved, really, from herself. She could finally breathe easy.

First forgiveness, then salvation and finally peace were bestowed upon a once despised life. Go indeed. Yes, she would go and be in peace. Her whole existence submerged in that peace.

~

This story is true. It was true for the precious woman that had come to the end of her own self and found her only hope in Jesus. And it continues to be true for anyone who would choose to believe that Jesus can set them free from any and all oppression. Freedom is extended to the hopeful heart. Whatever it is that is pressing down upon you can be removed and forgiven. Jesus can forgive you. Faith in Jesus can save you. Jesus can give you peace.

“A woman in the city brought an alabaster box of ointment, and stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment.”

“Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much.”

---

[1] Portions of this story were taken from The Message by Eugene Peterson.

One Chapter More

My wonderful husband bought a book for me about writing fiction called “The Lie that Tells a Truth” by John Dufresne. So I am finally in the last chapter. In his chapter about writing dialogue he addresses the motives behind why we communicate. Do any of these apply to why you post or read blogs?

Now, we all know there is no comfort in small talk, no solace in chitchat, no substance to idle jabber about the weather or mutual acquaintances. So why do we do it? We talk with each other for various reasons: to inform, to compare, to seduce, to clarify, to cloud, to charm, to deceive, to alarm, to evade, to demur, to bedevil, to reassure, to offend, to warn, to befuddle, to flatter, to belittle, to thank, to bluster, to rattle, to arouse, to soothe, to illuminate, to apologize, to inquire, to amuse, to brag, to inspire, to order, to explain, to encourage, to dissuade, to convert, to argue, to process, to instruct, to vent, to accost, to excuse, to call attention to ourselves, to hear the sound of our own voices, to be polite, to pass the time. But when we talk to understand, to understand ourselves and what we’re doing or what we think we’re doing and why we’re doing it, then we tell each other stories. Stories are how we remind ourselves who we are and how we’re connected. Stories are sacred and communal like a burial and the gathering after it.

While we are on the topic of chapters… Thanks to two marvelous women from the church I had four completely uninterrupted hours of time at my home to myself today. I cannot remember the last time that this happened. So I decided to get some heavy work done on the book I am writing. Can you believe I wrote four chapters and have just one left to write? Then the final tweaking and it is done. I am so excited.

Kid in a Candy Shop

Look at this stack of books tempting and taunting me. I feel like a kid in a candy shop; oh where oh where do I begin? And these are just the top picks of the delicious treats lining my shelves. Usually I have three or four books going at the same time. A couple in the stack I have already begun. I just want to read them all right now because they all look so good. You could say I have a literary sweet tooth.

Here are the titles of my top seven reading picks right now. (Like I said, there is a bunch more on the shelves that I want to get to as well. Yum yum yum!)

“The Divine Conspiracy” by Dallas Willard
“The Mission of Motherhood” by Sally Clarkson
“The Ministry of Motherhood” by Sally Clarkson
“Sacred Parenting” by Gary Thomas
“The Lie that Tells a Truth” by John Dufresne
“Walking from East to West” by Ravi Zacharias
“The Grand Weaver” by Ravi Zacharias

Run, Mama, Run

Ringtones are out of my league; but I do know how to assign different ring sounds to individuals on my contacts list from the options in my cell phone. I have one general ring sound for the whole world – except one person: my husband. His ring sound is called bullfighter – it’s that cheesy music that you hear whenever you see some commercial of someone running. Well, I was in my room and the phone was in the dining room. Papa’s ring sounded for all to hear. I rushed out to the dining room and my kids saw me coming. My youngest daughter yells out to me as I whiz by, “Run, Mama, Run!” It sounded just like the famous Forest Gump phrase. It was so funny!

Things I am lovin’ today:
- A well made turkey cold cut sandwich purchased for lunch
- Bugles and Mineragua – a great combo
- Google Reader – I just switched all my subs – it is great
- Lists and charts
- Pilates
- A clean desk top even after a week
- Our 2 cute guinea pigs
- The fact that I remembered how to spell guinea pig
- On line Scrabble
- The book of First John
- Driving
- Hooded sweatshirts with pockets for these drippy days

Books I am reading at this point in time:
- “Mere Christianity” by: C.S. Lewis
- “The Lie that Tells a Truth” by: John Dufresne
- “Sacred Parenting” by: Gary Thomas

Projects I am working on right now:
- A surprise party
- Organizing for this year of home schooling – first week of February we start
- Church leadership get together on Saturday

Did I mention that I like lists and charts?

Appointment on a Train

You know on the personality profile tests when they ask you for your perception of rules? Well, I always answer that rules exists to keep us safe. (Other responses are along the lines of: rules need to be challenged, rules make if fair, and rules make it boring.) I tend to be a person who trusts others very easily; thus rules are easy for me to follow. In fact I depend so much on rules that I put little rules on myself. It just makes life easier for me to have these standards in place ahead of time so that when conflict or pressures arise I refer to the previously established rule to make the decision. Trust me; I know that there are downfalls to this characteristic. That is why it is great that I am married to a man who believes that rules need to be challenged and is always thinking outside the box and pushing the limits. We are a good balance.

So as a rule I don’t break my own rules for the simple purpose of security. Well, a couple of weeks ago I broke one of my rules and suffered the consequences; but it turned out ok.

Rule: When reading books DO NOT flip to the last page to see how it ends and by all means DO NOT read the study helps, commentaries, or prefaces by anyone who did not author the book. DO read all these things after you read the book.

So I was getting ready for my trip to Uyuni deciding what to pack. I had to decide what books to take. I was 5/6 done with “Anna Karenina”. It is a very big book, as Russian classics tend to be, and it would take up space. So should I take it and risk a very disappointing ending, possibly putting a sad taint on the trip? Or should I take a quick read that doesn’t take up space and will not emotionally influence my trip?

This is when I broke my rule. It all happened so fast seeing as we have high speed internet. I googled Anna Karenina and clicked through the first link. Sure enough there was an insightful synopsis and they revealed the dire fate of the heroine! My gut was wretched; mostly because I was disgusted with myself for breaking the rule.

But then I made some connections that convinced me that if the only thing I packed was that book I had to take it along.

One of my life long dreams has been to ride a train. Marisol (my friend who organized the trip) told me that one of the legs of the trip was a 7 hour train ride. I was thrilled! Like jumping up and down, clapping my hands, where do I sign? Happy!

Well, this review that was made so convenient to me online had mentioned the theme of trains throughout the book. Anna is first seen on a train, a tragedy takes place at the train station, her son plays with trains, and the climax which concludes the book involves a train. I had picked up on that already but didn’t understand that it was integral to the ending.

So I was going to be on a train for the first time in my life. The book was leading up to an exciting train scene. Yes, the book is coming with me! And I am going to read that very part while I am on the train. It was decided.

Riding on the train was a fabulous experience. After a yummy meal in the dining car and a tea afterwards we headed back to our seats. I had an empty seat next to me so I was super comfy and could stretch out. This was my moment! Everyone was resting, it was dark, and the train was rocking. I pulled my book out and started reading. Everybody around me seemed to disappear. The only things I was aware of were the click-clack of the tracks and the gentle sway of the car. I read furiously fast. Then it happened. I knew it was coming. That is why I was reading it. It was wonderfully surreal.

The only spiritual observation that I can pull from this whole experience is that I think that God just wanted to set that up for me ‘cause he knows stuff like that fascinates me. Who could have known a month before when I started reading the book that I would be able to finish it in such a meaningful place? Except him! Amazing!

(I have one more silly little train story from that trip. Remind me to tell you about it sometime.)

Children’s Literature

I have always been fascinated by children’s fantasy literature. Just recently I finished reading Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass. Also this year I read Peter Pan and I am currently reading aloud to my children Hans Christian Anderson’s fairy tales. My collection of Oz books is extensive, yet not complete. And who can’t love stepping into Narnia for the afternoon?

I could go on. But I wanted to share a quote by G.K. Chesterton taken from his essay “The Dragon’s Grandmother” in his book Tremendous Trifles about the topic of children’s fantasy literature. I would like to read that book; alas I do not own it. I found this as only part of an article I read.

“Can you not see that fairy tales in their essence are quite solid and straightforward; but this everlasting fiction about modern life is in its nature essentially incredible? Folk-lore means that the soul is sane, but that the universe is wild and full of marvels. Realism means that the world is dull and full of routine, but that the soul is sick and screaming. The problem of the fairy tale is – what will a healthy man do with a fantastic world? The problem of the modern novel is – what will a madman do with a dull world? In the fairy tales the cosmos goes mad; but the hero does not go mad. In the modern novels the hero is mad before the book begins, and suffers from the harsh steadiness and cruel sanity of the cosmos.”

ABC

Tooling around town today I had so much fun! Baby in the back seat and me at the wheel we went to the post office, Office Max, church, the bank and finally Border’s. And wouldn’t you know it was my favorite kind of weather today: rain! (I am not trying to be sarcastic. I am really having a fun-filled day!)

My original goal in popping into Borders was to find a Willa Cather book. Thanks to the “pleasant, efficient, friendly, quick service with a smile” mentioned in my previous post that mission was accomplished in under 5 minutes. About an hour later I was headed to the check out. Quite honestly I would have stayed longer but the wiggly twenty pounds of drooly goo goo baby that I had on my hip was doing a number on my back. Also in my rush to get behind the wheel I hadn’t eaten all day and I had a hankering for a nice BIG bowl of cereal and milk.

As I was in the section of literature marked “C” my eyes wandered over to the “Bs” and I found a book that I had been meaning to read for quite some time so I picked it up. Then another in the “Cs” caught my eye and a fun idea dawned on me.

I would get 3 classics for me and 3 classics for the kids with authors whose last names start with A, B and C that I had never read before. Rainy days put me in the mood for my favorite genre: classics.

Here is what I ended up walking out of the door with:

(Ladies for me)
Austen, Jane “Pride and Prejudice”
Bronte, Emily “Wuthering Heights”
Cather, Willa “My Antonia”

(Gents for the kiddos)
Andersen, Hans Christian “Fairy Tales”
Barrie, J.M. “Peter Pan”
Carroll, Lewis “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking Glass”

In case you wanted to know, book stores are another one of my favorite things.

Reading Regimen

In the book “Prophetic Untimeliness” (page 104) Os Guinness outlines a reading regimen that C.S. Lewis maintained. Lewis said, “It is a good rule, after reading a new book, never allow yourself another new one till you have read an old one in between.” Guinness goes on to note, “In tackling a major or minor biography every two or three books I read, I have found my awareness of history steadily expanding along with my appreciation of the colorful throng of men and women who make the human story so fascinating.”

January the biography that I read was about Adoniram Judson. February I finished reading a biography about Lydia (Christensen) Prince. Being one to have at least three books going at a time I have also been plugging through Yancy’s “Rumors of another World” and at an even slower pace Galli’s “Jesus Mean and Wild”.

Wanting something light and carefree I began a Louisa May Alcott book that seems as though it will be delightful reading: “Under the Lilacs”.

But I still have this itch that has not yet been satisfied and I think I am going place in the peripheral my old and new books to read yet another biography. What better way to follow up reading about the wife than reading about the husband? Re-reading the biography about Derek Prince sounds so inviting to me just now.

To the Golden Shore

I just finished reading a sobering page turner. “To the Golden Shore” a biography by Courtney Anderson about Adoniram Judson, leader of a group of the first missionaries sent out from the United States. They went to Burma (now Myanmar) and sowed their lives towards the salvation of its people.

I am still in that state of awe after reading a great biography in which my head spins. Grappling with the challenges presented by the life of such a dedicated man I know that the eternal purpose is the only one that counts.

On the one trip that he made back to the United States, before returning to finish his life in the work overseas, after over 30 years abroad he began sharing in churches. The people had read in missionary bulletins about the struggles and losses he faced so all the meetings were packed as they waited to hear more from the very mouth of the one who experienced it all. Yet this seasoned missionary only shared the gospel message. The people were polite enough, yet began to complain that they wanted to hear the stories. When tactfully approached about this he replied, “Well, I am sure I gave them a story – the most thrilling one that can be conceived of.” After he was told, “They wanted something new of a man who had just come from the antipodes,” he said, “Then I am glad they have it to say, that a man coming from the antipodes had nothing better to tell than the wondrous story of Jesus’ dying love.” (page 462)