Momentous Mothers

Listed below are the wonderful mothers I know who have impacted my own formation as a mother. I wanted to pay tribute to them. They are a treasure that I hold in my heart. The characteristics following their names (demonstrated in the interaction with their children) are the ones that shine out above all the many that I could have listed. The list could be much longer if I were to include the women throughout history that I know only through study and literature that have also aided me as a mother. To the women here in this list I say thank you so much for being who you are and making a profound mark on my life. May God bless you.

Organized in alphabetical order:

1. Amy R. – Valuing the journey
2. Beth W. – Care and nurture
3. Carolina M. – Encouraging individuality
4. Charlesene M. (my mother in law) – Strength
5. Claudia B. – Placing importance on heritage
6. Danielle H. – Being fun
7. Daryl C. – Learning
8. Denise H. – Unending and unconditional love
9. Emily H. (my sister) – Purposeful connection
10. Heather H. – Hope
11. Jill H. (my mom) – Serving and putting others first
12. Joy G. – Belief in others
13. Joyce L. (my aunt) – Prayer
14. Julie M. – Sacrifice
15. Kristy L. (my aunt) – Instilment of character and faith
16. Laura B. – Thoughtfulness
17. Laura K. (my grandmother) – Industrious
18. Linda K. (my aunt) – Making kids feel important
19. Lisa B. – Patience
20. Mary S. – Tenacity against all odds
21. Phyllis H. (my grandmother) – Being herself
22. Peri Z. – Giving value
23. Rebecca G. – Trust and friendship
24. Shawn S. (my sister) – Doting adoration
25. Tracy C. – Including her kids in the process

In the years to come I expect this list will grow as I come to know new mothers. I am grateful to my Lord for filling my life with the voices of these ladies.

The AM

Yesterday this:
Hope deferred maketh the heart sick… (Proverbs 13:12)

Today this:
… but joy cometh in the morning. (Psalm 30:5)

This:
My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up. (Psalm 5:3)

And this:
Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee. (Psalm 143:8)

The long and short of it is that the prospective house help came to the house on Monday, I showed her around, explained the job, we talked about hours and pay and together we decided that she would start Tuesday at two. Two o’clock rolled around, 2:15, 2:35, 3:00 and still a no show. I call the number she gave me and talk with her sister, who is clueless. Then the work I had been saving (so I could train her how to do it) I had to do. It wasn’t the work that upset me. What upset me is that this is not the first time this has happened and it causes me to over analyze everything.

So what am I going to do if she decided to show up today? Good question. I will know when and if the moment presents itself.

Things look brighter now. Thanks to all who sympathized with me, I really appreciate it.

While we are on the topic of the morning… some of my morning sounds:
Cars in the busy street we live on
Airplanes over head
Husband moving about
My kids playing
Venders opening the market
Children rushing to the school in front of our property
Our pets asking for breakfast
Birds
Staff watching DVD bible school courses
Kids in the orphanage praying as I hang my clothes on the line

What is the best part about your morning?

Drama Queen

WARNING: this blog post will be overly dramatic. Things will be looking better in the morning.

These are my eyes this evening full of weariness, contempt, disillusionment, hurt and disgust. Oh, I do so want to believe in people and take them at their word… but who am I kidding?

This is the hot chocolate with three big marshmallows that I used to drown my sorrows. This, of course, after spending all afternoon washing, scrubbing, cooking, cleaning and tending to the house alone.

(pluckiness will be following after I am done wallowing…)

Happenings

Just some bullets to let you know what has been going on:

Finished writing my book Breathe Easy

DaRonn returned from Chile on Saturday

Hired a Christian house help gal

Trying to figure out Tyler’s new affinity to licking deodorant

Gabrielle taught Tyler how to say, “Hello-wah”

What odd thing did you eat when you were a kid?

Necessary Edification

In Spanish Ephesians 4:29 reads like this:

Ninguna palabra corrompida salga de vuestra boca, sino la que sea buena para la necesaria edificación, a fin de dar gracia a los oyentes. (Reina Valera 1960)

You may be more familiar with the verse in English:

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. (King James Version)

The verse in Spanish expresses my thoughts on this subject most clearly. Here is my understanding…

Not one word that is corrupt should be allowed to escape your mouth; rather that which is good for necessary edification, with the end goal to give grace to those who hear you. (Angie’s paraphrase)

In Spanish the noun ‘building’ is ‘edificio’ and the verb ‘to build’ is ‘edificar’. In English a building is also an ‘edifice’. So now we can look into this phrase: necessary edification.

The words we say can corrupt or build. Think of the foundations of a building. If rot, rust, infestation or other such corrupting elements set in the building will be unsafe to use and might even topple over. Our words can do that to the lives of others.

There is no middle ground here. Necessary edification indicates that the words we say can be the life line that another person needs. You can build the life of another person. Compliment and you are laying the concrete. Bless and you are laying the bricks. Your encouragement is necessary for those who hear you. First for the person you try to build up and next for the people who overhear you encouraging and imitate your efforts.

Pick a person to intentionally edify with your words. Trust me, they need it. Then come back and tell us how it went.

One Chapter More

My wonderful husband bought a book for me about writing fiction called “The Lie that Tells a Truth” by John Dufresne. So I am finally in the last chapter. In his chapter about writing dialogue he addresses the motives behind why we communicate. Do any of these apply to why you post or read blogs?

Now, we all know there is no comfort in small talk, no solace in chitchat, no substance to idle jabber about the weather or mutual acquaintances. So why do we do it? We talk with each other for various reasons: to inform, to compare, to seduce, to clarify, to cloud, to charm, to deceive, to alarm, to evade, to demur, to bedevil, to reassure, to offend, to warn, to befuddle, to flatter, to belittle, to thank, to bluster, to rattle, to arouse, to soothe, to illuminate, to apologize, to inquire, to amuse, to brag, to inspire, to order, to explain, to encourage, to dissuade, to convert, to argue, to process, to instruct, to vent, to accost, to excuse, to call attention to ourselves, to hear the sound of our own voices, to be polite, to pass the time. But when we talk to understand, to understand ourselves and what we’re doing or what we think we’re doing and why we’re doing it, then we tell each other stories. Stories are how we remind ourselves who we are and how we’re connected. Stories are sacred and communal like a burial and the gathering after it.

While we are on the topic of chapters… Thanks to two marvelous women from the church I had four completely uninterrupted hours of time at my home to myself today. I cannot remember the last time that this happened. So I decided to get some heavy work done on the book I am writing. Can you believe I wrote four chapters and have just one left to write? Then the final tweaking and it is done. I am so excited.

Tea

As a woman living in Bolivia I have learned the skill of a “tea”. It usually takes the place of a light dinner at about 6 in the evening. Ladies trickle in and the sound gradually increases as all the friends converge around the table in a home or at a local tea-house. Coffee and tea are served along side breads, pastries or other baked goods. If the ladies have brought food to share what is politely left on the plate stays at the house. In the same fashion the confidentialities shared also do not leave the confines of the intimacy of the companions; at least in noble theory if not in practice.

Age old traditions are observed such as serving the cool refreshment beverage that precedes the actual tea drinking on a tray and never with your hands. A tea spoon is to be provided in place of the larger soup spoon or there will be furrowed eyebrows. Children are welcome to pick and choose off the table as they please seeing as they are adored and by no means disdained among these people. Though it is fashionable to arrive half an hour to forty five minutes passed the appointed hour it is expected that the group depart all at the same time.

The intricacies of conversing at a tea are details that one must develop only after repeated exposure with an attentive ear to the timing, volume and topics addressed. The only interruption permitted is that of a proper greeting which consists of a kiss on the cheek for every person present. Kisses aside, great respect is demonstrated in that the thorough stories that could be easily described as speeches by those unfamiliar with a Bolivian tea are listened to completely.

Common topics touched at almost every tea: children, women stuff (complete with at least one labor and delivery story), light gossip and maids. The Spanish word for maid is ‘empleada’. You should see the emotion on the women’s faces when this topic is finally brought to the table. So today I welcome you to my table for tea. This very Latin introduction has been so that I can talk with you about my maid, or former maid to be more precise.

She has been with us for over three years. The kids love her dearly. She actually did very good honest work. Just these last few months she has repeatedly missed days, asked for extra time off and simply disappeared. So she finally called the other day to let me know that she was done. I guess I can’t blame her. Right now she needs to give her own family attention. Both her parents are sick and she is the middle child of 12. Only a few of the siblings have jobs. Their pay checks sustain the rest of them. So she will go and I will probably never see her again in my life. Such is the case with ‘empleadas’.

And now we need to decide where to go from here. It is clear that if I am going to continue to be involved in ministry outside of my home that I will need to have help. Simple house hold tasks take so much longer to accomplish without automated everything. The thought of the hunting, trial period, decisions and training time makes me sigh.

You are to be commended if you have read this far and you are still interested. This talk would have been much more in depth and fraught with emotional descriptions and compassion invoking examples had I been addressing Bolivian women. And it will be next time I sit down with my chicas. Bottom line is please pray for me during this transition time. It is a good thing to have the challenge of choosing the right helper.

Thanks for sharing tea with me today.

A Mountainous Week

As my American week draws to a close there are some mountains that have been conquered by my able bodied crew (AKA: the Washington family) that you might like to know about.

A mountain of dishes have been washed
A mountain of clothes have been cleaned
A mountain of school work accomplished
A mountain of fun had with papa in the evenings
A mountain of fun had driving
A mountain of fun had with a new friend, Denise
A mountain of steps were climbed on the side of an actual mountain
A mountain of fruits and veggies were bought at the market
A mountain of help was given to us by friends
A mountain of love and bonding was forged within our family by working together

Ten mountains climbed. It always amazes me how changed I feel after times like these outside of our regular routine. It is so revealing to get a different perspective when you do the same thing in a different way.

Lyric Hunt

This song has been rolling around in me the last few days:

It’s not in trying but in trusting
It’s not in running but in resting
It’s not in wondering but in praying
That we find the strength of the Lord

I have been searching for the rest of the lyrics; but I can’t seem to find them. I know that the author is Joni Eareckson Tada. If anybody knows where I can get the rest of the words I would be much obliged. Thank you kindly.

Back to School

My American Fortnight (see American Weekends on Xanga site) turned into almost a month. With all the political unrest there were no buses leaving from the pueblo that my house help gal was in. She had been traveling with her family and was headed back when all the problems started, so she decided to stay and not risk the roads (see Bolivia Update).

But now my husband is back and my house help is back so I am adjusting to not having the chores to do and focusing on home school and ministry. It is good.

Monday we start our school year. We follow the Bolivian school year of Feb – Nov. The kids are very excited. I am home schooling three grades this year: K, 2nd and 3rd; should be fun.

I leave you with a fun picture of some antics.

Funny Fruits - Achachairu

Saturday is market day for us. My expert shopper husband does the supermarket and I do what would be equivalent to a farmers market in the States – but more! I take my shopping bags and walk the two blocks to “La Feria de la América”. This particular group of Saturday venders set up their stands along 4 blocks thus transforming a street that is highly trafficked during the week into a plethora of produce perfect for the pedestrians’ purchasing power. The whole experience is rich!

As I come within meters of my market there is a bunch of eager adolescents with wheelbarrow in hand and toothy grin on face greeting me, “¿Le ayudo?” (Can I help you?) The very first week I went it was hard to choose who to help me. So I let a couple of the girls accompany me. The next week I wised up. My decision would be that the first kid to make it to me I would let help me. So each week they come running; they know that I tip well. This last week Jason helped me; he just happens to be one of our stars students in the Sunday school class at our church. Not too many weeks back he won a great prize for memorizing the books of the Old Testament.

Then the shopping begins. By nature I am not a shopper; so I changed it. I make social calls. I go to the same stands each week. They know me and I know them. They give me great prices and I give them a nice chat. So I walk with my helper following. I pick what I want, tell them how much I want, they weigh it and hand it to the helper, we chat a bit, and I pay and move on. After about a half an hour the wheelbarrow is full of fruits, vegetables, and other odds-and-ends household items. We walk to the end of the market to catch a taxi. The kid helps me load up the taxi with my bags then I give my tip.

It’s really quite fun. I also usually bump into some other shopper that I know and we chat as well. This is the routine: Kisses to say hi before we talk. Start with, “How are you? Good. Good.” Adore the child if they happen to be accompanied by one. Talk. Then kisses to say bye.

I get the usual: apples, grapes, bananas, pineapple, strawberries, oranges, tomatoes, potatoes, lettuce, broccoli, green beans, peppers, etc. for my family. But sometimes I find something that I have never seen before and get it to give it a try. This fruit is called achachairu. It may have different names or spellings in different regions. There is a variety of achachairu. We like ‘em all.