Magnetic Attraction

It is fun to play with magnets. Seeing a long chain of metal objects stick together is fascinating. Have you ever tried to push strong magnets together with the non-attractive ends only to feel an invisible force prohibiting your efforts? These two forces (attraction and repulsion) are at work in relationships as much as they are in magnets.

In the same way that a simple switch in the direction of the magnets can reverse repulsion and create an attraction in relationships some simple changes in mindset can help bring people together instead of constantly being pushed apart. You can make adjustments in your thinking and the way you relate to others to create a connection.

Romans 12:5 & 10 “so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

Switches:*

1. Switch, “This relationship exists to serve me,” to, “This relationship is so I may serve.” It is attractive to think about the other person

2. Switch, “I will look better if I belittle the other,” to, “If I lift the other up us both go up.”

3. Switch, “Trusting another means I will be taken advantage of,” to, “If I trust others I will be considered trustworthy.” Pushing someone down when in a panic and drowning will probably cause you to drown as well. Striving to pull the other up you will both be saved. A person who is suspicious of others will be thought to be a suspicious suspect.

4. Switch, “I have to be right,” to, “I have to have peace.” Which is more important to you: peace or to be right? In issues of blatant sin then you must hold your ground. But most arguments are not in regards to an issue of sin rather a difference of opinion. Better to let the other person be right and save the relationship.

5. Switch, “Vulnerability means I will be hurt,” to, “Vulnerability means I will be healed.” Take for example a hurt tooth: The dentist will have to inject and inspect and you will be painfully vulnerable to him, but in the end that vulnerability will lead to healing. Without the dentist help you will have greater pain and maybe even lose the tooth. In a relationship if you do not open up to the other person then the sores will fester and you may lose the relationship; just as you would eventually lose a tooth if left unattended. Opening up will lead to healing.

6. Switch, “Transparency means they will see my weaknesses,” to, “Transparency means they will see Jesus more clearly through my life.” In our weakness He is strong.

7. Switch, “Just a little lie won’t hurt,” to, “Lies of any size diminish my credibility.” Being a person of integrity and honesty – even when it is reference to mistakes – will gain you credibility in the eyes of others. You don’t always have to take the brutally honest route; there are ways to be kind and honest.

8. Switch, “Criticism makes me look bad,” to, “Criticism helps me become better.” The attitude with which you receive criticism reveals your true motives in a relationship.

9. Switch, “To get what I want I have to take it,” to “To get what I want I have to sow a seed.” Reaping a sowing is a continual theme throughout the word of God.

10. Switch, “People are things to help me reach my goal,” to, “People are the goal.” I know that when some people look at me my head is replaced by a big dollar sign; I want people to want to have a relationship with me not based on what I can offer them, rather based on who I am.

11. Switch, “These are the conditions so one may earn my love,” to, “I choose to love unconditionally.” Love is a choice, not an emotional feeling.

12. Switch, “This person will never change,” to, “Hope that God is still working is the only hope I have for a relationship.” They say that a relationship is dead when one loses hope that the other can change. This is not to say you must remain close to an abusive person. The bible gives clear instruction about not becoming closely tied to people that display certain characteristics. But if there is no abuse, and only annoying behavior, you can hope that God is working on both of you to grow and change.

* These are examples given in a relationship where both are equals (marriage, siblings, friendships etc.). Things may look slightly different when a leader / follower relationship is being discussed (i.e. parent / child, boss / employee, teacher / student).